[intuition897]

mincup, I'd also suggest doing a search (search feature, toolbar at the top) on religion/religious guilt, morality, etc. This is an extremely common stumbling block for many people. It IS something that everyone must make peace with if they want to do this in a healthy way. I don't know much about it, but I can imagine that Catholicism is very...um...stringent in its standards for moral decency. I wasn't raised Catholic, but I was definitley raised Christian. I have made my peace with it and truly believe that what my husband and I do/think/feel is not offensive to God. It has, however, required much "deprogramming". And the trouble with that is that many people say that one must contort the scriptures to get to the meaning that I'm talking about. I say the same of them.

It all just comes down to what you believe. There are some absolutes in this world, and they orbit around the Golden Rule. Being a positive force in the world is always better than being a negative one, no matter to what degree. Beyond this, it's just the individual's interpretation of reality.

I would move very slowly and cautiously, if I were either of you two. I've noticed that whenever someone is reluctant, it is because they sense somewhere deep inside that they are unready for it. This is along the lines of the "gut instinct" thing, and it should absolutely be heeded. I have a hunch that your wife may still be struggling with separating love and sex. If she feels she "needs a connection" with someone, watch that she's not equating sex with lovemaking. It's not a throttle kind of mechanism, where you need to control how much you feel for the other person (and those who get carried away and really "connect" end up falling in love); it's more of an on/off switch. It's apples and oranges. Square pegs and round holes. If you're doing it right, the risk of falling in love with your swing partner is very minute. Minute enough that you barely think of it.

Hope this helps.