[DBL D]

Mrs. Van,

Very interesting thought you've brought to light.

I used to be fond of saying that swingers were the most open of all people and that's what I liked about the lifestyle. Most of them appeared to espouse honesty. Turns out that they love honesty, but aren't interested in reciprocating. Truth be told we have been less than honest with some of the couples we've met too. I guess you develope a thick skin, all the while hoping that you will actually find people who really back up what they say about being friends. The fact that this was a couple with some play time under their belts leads me to believe that they were truly interested in helping you but they backed off becasue they may feel that they were getting too close. Or they really want to play with more couples and don't have the time to be with you as much. Are your kids still hanging out together. Are there problems among them that you may not know of? There can be so many reasons and you will never know what they are because people don't want to cause drama, which is what ends up happening anyway. At least you have this board to play off of instead of wondering if there's something wrong with you.

We met a couple once where the guy was seemingly ecstatic that they'd met a couple like us. She never really expressed that feeling, but always seemed to have a good time with us. Well, we still get some joke e-mail but that's the extent of it. Lot's have stated that the better you know someone the less you play with them. It's just a shame though because they could really fit well with us if they wanted to. See, you always have to have 4 on the same page. It's a constant struggle gal if you are going for the friendship aspect. A lot of seasoned swingers say that clubbing is the way to do it. Stay on a first name basis. Don't get attached to anyone. Allow people to come and go. I can see their point but I think we will still try to look for friends and try to understand when things change.

I wish you luck with this and the future.

Male D