I was one who only begain having orgasms only after I was married, though young, at 18, and we've been several years divorced...but he was the first person that I was genuinely relaxed enough with that I could even begin to see and feel that female orgasm was NOT a myth.
For whatever reason, for a long time I didn't even feel comfortable with my own body...but everything started to change from there, it had never occured to me to fake one before, b/c I didn't know what to fake, exactly.And I've thankfully, gratefully, been multi-orgasmic ever since, and at 32, feel it getting better still,and I have been so blessed in that aspect, that I've never had to consider faking, but feel in that department I would stay true to the rest of my personality,I am just not a good "faker", with anything.
However, the last long term relationship that I was in was with a very charming and older man.This dosen't mean older was negative, he was probably(well, yes, definatelly so far)the best sex I've had with a man, he had stamina and passion, and knew the female body well; and also well enough to know each is just a little different, too.The only time that age was a factor in any way was recovery time, and that was when I was first introduced to the faking of orgasm.
I could tell right away, however I never made any mention of it, and since we are still amicable, he's even admitted to faking it on such occassions. I am someone who is very open sexually and with talking about it, but he came from a different place, and even though an excellent lover, he was unaccustomed to speaking about it, discussing it...and I think he's come a long way(no pun intended)..and knowing something about him, I never made mention then or now that I knew.I didn't feel badly about it myself,why would I?I also understood why he would do it,and at that point it was more about what he felt I expected, and I didn't want that pressure on him, it was unecessary for me. I was afraid too, that if I made mention about it, it would/could then become "his" problem as well. I was more than satisfied already, and didn't want to make him feel like he was on a "stage" of any kind.
Oh yeah, somewhere in my memory files of my Human Sexuality class in college, I think I remember reading that another way to tell if a woman is actually having an orgasm, was to watch for nipple,erection.The reason I remember this at all, was b/c it was a point of interest to me, and I started watching myself(seemed true enough). The text was so bold as to even say something to the effect of ,".....no nipple erection, no orgasm."
