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Your best bet is to respond to those you don't want to play with, with a no thank you, and leave the coffee for those who you consider potential playmates and you won't run into as much trouble in the long run.
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Dito
Anything more does give mixed messages. People aren't usually in this lifestyle to make more friends (though that is a nice sidebar when it happens) but they are in it to find potential play mates.
Be honest and upfront...sooner rather than later
