I am having almost the same problem with my hubby....We have been trying to talk things out and things are evolving at a slow pace. That seems to be working for us. We had to slow down just a bit. He has to get to know the women a little more and another instance is he is feels so bad if he cant get hard that it just makes it worse.
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time to get to know one another and maybe that's my problem - women don't seem to require that time but maybe I do.
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In my opinion it sounds like you need to slow down just a little and take your time to get to know these women and stop worrying about performing and things will work out in time.
Hope I helped you even just a little.