[robel12550]

Hi Liv2,

There are several areas of your post that is puzzling.

For starters, you said your husband described the sex life between the two of you as "boring" or getting to be that way. If you haven't already (and just haven't posted it here), you need to find out from him why he thinks it's boring and what he thinks will not make it boring. You need to LISTEN very carefully when he talks about this because he might not be saying exactly what he really means. Depending on what he says, he might not want to "hurt your feelings" (although stating anyway that he thinks sex with you is boring isn't exactly being gentle about it). It might very well be that the extra pounds you put on to safely deliver his two children are what he might be concerned about. Then again, it might be something very different. Maybe he'd like to explore some sexual technique that you haven't gotten around to. You need to clarify that first, because if you stray into swinging without knowing what he doesn't find boring, you'll probably run into bigger problems then you might have now. (For starters, what if what you're doing with him now might affect someone you'd have sex with in swinging? For example, there is a running problem with ED in the swinging community which women mistakenly attribute to their not being able to stimulate their swing partner. If you happen to be doing something that doesn't result in an erection, you might be back on this forum writing how your swing partner didn't get exciting and you feel it's your fault. You don't need that.)

The aspect of your "insecurities" seems to be a common thing with women. Men worry about how long their penis is and women worry about how attractive they are. If you ONLY read one thing in this whole message, please read this and read it over several times:

ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

Now read it again! There have been several women who I've run into in my life who would be considered knock down gorgeous that I wouldn't want to get into bed if they paid me because I didn't like their attitude. I went to a strip club once where this, in my opinion, outrageously overweight woman got up on stage and danced and she had the whole club hooting and hollering! Off stage she was greeted and hugged by the other strippers. It was like a big party! The point is that she definitely wasn't what you'd call a "looker", but she had an attitude which many folks appreciated more than her looks. (OK, truth be told, I wasn't one of her followers, but I could appreciate the fact that others were.) So stop already with this "I'm not pretty enough", "I got too many pounds", whatever other type of excuse you can come up with (and the rest of you ladies too)! Nothing turns me on more than a woman who has a healthy attitude and appetite for sensuality and sexuality. And I think there are quite a few men who would agree with that. Show your husband that there is NO other woman on this planet that enjoys sex more than YOU! This will either result in him not necessarily being interested in swinging anymore or at least will assure you that if you do swing he won't be spending the night someplace he shouldn't be.

Best of luck to you and keep us informed of what's going on.