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liv2 · 06-20-2006, 01:14 PM

Hi guys,

First time on this forum so excuse me for being a bit nervous...

My husband and I have just had a conversation regarding swinging! I have just read some threads and the conversation was tears and talking, although he was very hurt that I got upset.

To give you a little background... We are married, been together for six and half years and have two young children. We are currently living the expat life in Indonesia... We have been through rough times and great times (as has every married couple!).

My husband is concerned with the fact that he is going to get bored of our sex life if it continues the way it is (but assures me that he is happy! (?)).

About two years ago I ventured in the swinging life with him and we went to a swingers bar several times and had some fun (not with other couples, but watched and had sex together (being watched)... We have also had a very good swingers occasion, when we met a couple and took them back to our hotel room.

Ok, so here it comes... He wants to get back into it, and I am worried about all the normal things... The main problem I have is that I am very insecure about my looks. Please don't get me wrong, I am not ugly, but not perfect (is anyone?) Anyway, in order to take my clothes off in front of others I really need the help of alcohol... But when I think about it (probably thinking far too much), I just don't have the need to do it, like he does... then I think of how much I enjoyed it when we did do it, and it was great!

I guess I am just very insecure about myself and need huge reassurrance that everything will be fine. In some ways, by being told that my sex life with him is potentially boring, I am feeling even more insure and now pressured too.

I have recently made a huge effort to lose weight (which I have now done) and also step our sex life up (well, I thought I had!), now I just feel that everything I have tried has failed and I am going to have to start easing up on my insecurities...

ADVICE on how to get rid of these damn insecurities about my looks and (a little) on my relationship PLEASE? (please don't tell me that I shouldn't go there if I don't want to, I already realise this!)

06-20-2006, 01:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
liv2 Registered Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 7 Location: Indonesia	Hubby's fantasies and where I stand? Hi guys, First time on this forum so excuse me for being a bit nervous... My husband and I have just had a conversation regarding swinging! I have just read some threads and the conversation was tears and talking, although he was very hurt that I got upset. To give you a little background... We are married, been together for six and half years and have two young children. We are currently living the expat life in Indonesia... We have been through rough times and great times (as has every married couple!). My husband is concerned with the fact that he is going to get bored of our sex life if it continues the way it is (but assures me that he is happy! (?)). About two years ago I ventured in the swinging life with him and we went to a swingers bar several times and had some fun (not with other couples, but watched and had sex together (being watched)... We have also had a very good swingers occasion, when we met a couple and took them back to our hotel room. Ok, so here it comes... He wants to get back into it, and I am worried about all the normal things... The main problem I have is that I am very insecure about my looks. Please don't get me wrong, I am not ugly, but not perfect (is anyone?) Anyway, in order to take my clothes off in front of others I really need the help of alcohol... But when I think about it (probably thinking far too much), I just don't have the need to do it, like he does... then I think of how much I enjoyed it when we did do it, and it was great! I guess I am just very insecure about myself and need huge reassurrance that everything will be fine. In some ways, by being told that my sex life with him is potentially boring, I am feeling even more insure and now pressured too. I have recently made a huge effort to lose weight (which I have now done) and also step our sex life up (well, I thought I had!), now I just feel that everything I have tried has failed and I am going to have to start easing up on my insecurities... ADVICE on how to get rid of these damn insecurities about my looks and (a little) on my relationship PLEASE? (please don't tell me that I shouldn't go there if I don't want to, I already realise this!)