The Swingers Board - View Single Post - More/better attention to swing partner than to mate

Tybee Swing · 06-13-2006, 01:43 PM

This isn't a problem that we have, it's just a general curiosity question based on an old thread I just read through.

The OP was upset about how her husband gave his swing partners much more attention and passion than he gave her, including at home and just between the two of them. For example: taking more time to make it good, more passionate kisses, more oral on the swing partners than what she was getting at home.

One of the male respondents wrote this:

"I myself have been guilty of pouring more affection and attention on the other female. I love my wife no less and have no intention of leaving her out or behind, but it is my feeling that with someone new, we do have to try to impress as much as we can in order to show that we would like to maintain a swinging relationship in the future. Swinging is, after all, high intensity dating. Think about it . . . when you went on a date way back in high school . . .all you had to impress was your date! In swinging you have to impress your dates husband too . . . lol. You would like to know that the people you've been with will go home that night and say to each other, "I really like them", or "He was really good and good to me, I hope you enjoyed them enough we could go back again". So yes, my attentions have been unevenly balanced on the other person. I'm not here to say that is right or wrong, but to portray my feelings about it."

I wonder if this way of thinking is fairly common, or not? Do many men think they should work harder as lovers to impress the couples they're with, giving lots more attention to swing partners than what they generally give to their wives? This guy knew consciously that he was giving more to swing partners than his wife, but he justified it as needing to impress them. I wonder if some men have the same attitude, but it's more unconscious with them regarding the fact that their wives aren't getting it as good from them at home?

06-13-2006, 01:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tybee Swing Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,845 Location: Georgia Status: single female	More/better attention to swing partner than to mate This isn't a problem that we have, it's just a general curiosity question based on an old thread I just read through. The OP was upset about how her husband gave his swing partners much more attention and passion than he gave her, including at home and just between the two of them. For example: taking more time to make it good, more passionate kisses, more oral on the swing partners than what she was getting at home. One of the male respondents wrote this: "I myself have been guilty of pouring more affection and attention on the other female. I love my wife no less and have no intention of leaving her out or behind, but it is my feeling that with someone new, we do have to try to impress as much as we can in order to show that we would like to maintain a swinging relationship in the future. Swinging is, after all, high intensity dating. Think about it . . . when you went on a date way back in high school . . .all you had to impress was your date! In swinging you have to impress your dates husband too . . . lol. You would like to know that the people you've been with will go home that night and say to each other, "I really like them", or "He was really good and good to me, I hope you enjoyed them enough we could go back again". So yes, my attentions have been unevenly balanced on the other person. I'm not here to say that is right or wrong, but to portray my feelings about it." I wonder if this way of thinking is fairly common, or not? Do many men think they should work harder as lovers to impress the couples they're with, giving lots more attention to swing partners than what they generally give to their wives? This guy knew consciously that he was giving more to swing partners than his wife, but he justified it as needing to impress them. I wonder if some men have the same attitude, but it's more unconscious with them regarding the fact that their wives aren't getting it as good from them at home?