The Swingers Board - View Single Post - ED situation

Tybee Swing · 06-12-2006, 02:58 PM

Last month, I wrote a post called ED Situation - what's a gal to do?

This past Saturday, we got together with this couple, again. We're very friendly, we stay in touch regularly, and have known each other/played together for almost a year now.

There was some awkwardness again this time, because the other Mr. deals with ED and it seems to be getting worse, especially in his head. Last time (told in link above), he couldn't get it up with me and got all frantic and panicky about it (which embarrassed me). My hubby saved the day by paying attention, quickly and smoothly switching back to me, and letting other Mrs. deal with her Mr.'s panic and issue. It worked out fine, because they kept going, and so did we. We didn't have any subsequent conversation about that. My hubby and I felt his having ED with me was no big deal..."stuff happens". We were just uncomfortable with his reaction.

But I could tell this time, there had been much discussion and concern about it between themselves since the last time. There were murmerings between them, the other Mrs. coaxing him, etc. Before that, when other Mr. and I started kissing, he felt like a ball of nerves and was literally shaking. Again, awkward for me. He's not been a real good kisser especially when nervous like this - he's one of those snake-tongue guys that's more tongue than lips (turn-off) - so I whispered to him a few times, "less tongue", and it got better. I don't like to have to instruct on things like kissing, but what else can you do? The kissing has to be good or decent for me to even get turned-on. He thanked me though, and said he wanted me to tell him things so he could do it the way I wanted. Other than that, I had to ask him to give head softer in order for me to come, which I did with ease, and he got lighter with the pressure with much "success".

The sex switched back and forth different ways, with lots of interesting and fun positions, a little girl-girl show that the guys really enjoyed, etc. My hubby and other Mrs. had been at it different times/ways already, and between hubby and me (he realllly has stamina), but other Mr. hadn't attempted any penetration with me after quite some time in the room. I was just going with the flow of the moment, no real concern or thoughts about it. But, this is when the coaxing/murmering became apparent, and other Mrs. seemed to be "talking him into it", to penetrate me. (Made me feel a little awkward, but I blew it off.)

After the coaxing by his Mrs., he entered me from behind, while my hubby went behind other Mrs., she and I holding hands. We each had the view of our own husbands behind the other, which was very sexy (hubby and I love it best when we can see each other - very hot). Other Mr. has some kind of pump device and a ring, so he can obtain an erection and then hold onto it with the ring. I've never seen it up close, they keep it in a bag and the lights are dim, but they've used it since the first time we were with them. He seems to try everything to not use the pump, but if he does, he "works" just fine. Again, of no real consequence to me, one way or the other. He was using it this time. So, in the doggie position, we all four were having a great time. Other Mr. came really hard and long while penetrating me, one of those very drawn-out orgasms that lasts at least a full minute! I certainly thought this would cause him to feel much better about everything (successful). It was very obvious he really enjoyed that (he was very verbal).

Other than all the insecurity stuff, it seemed like a great time was had by all, and we certainly enjoyed it very much -- other than the fact that we feel we have to coddle them both with their insecurities. We thought that the way things went, they'd gotten a bolster and both would have felt real good about things. The other issue is other Mrs.' body-image issue. She's lost a good bit of weight, has sagging skin more than before she lost the weight, and is highly conscious of it now. Again, of no consequence to us whatsoever, and we keep making it clear by words and actions. However, we feel we need to go out of our way to bolster her, offer lots of compliments, etc. We both did that for her on Saturday.

On Sunday, I wrote a little note as we usually do after, letting them know what a great time we had and how "hot" the night was. Other Mr. wrote back, apologizing about his ED, and saying he's "struck out" with us twice in a row now. Struck out???? He seemed to be having an amazing time in me, made lots of exclamations about the tightness and feel, and came like a madman. How is that striking out?? At least other Mrs. felt great (and accepted), according to what he wrote us. **sigh**

Hubby and I are getting weary with the drama. He told me he had the thought that "he needs to find me a good man". We both laughed at how that sounded! I told him that I have a good man.

We're debating how to answer this email, and haven't, yet. We consider this couple to be friends we've made. We enjoy all our time with them, in and out of the bedroom (dinners, dancing, etc), so we care about them and their feelings. But, how hard do we have to "work" to prove to them they're acceptable as they are? We hope they just get over themselves and learn to relax with people they SAY they're very comfortable being with.

What would YOU do?

06-12-2006, 02:58 PM	#13 (permalink)
Tybee Swing Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,845 Location: Georgia Status: single female	ED situation with other couple continues Last month, I wrote a post called ED Situation - what's a gal to do? This past Saturday, we got together with this couple, again. We're very friendly, we stay in touch regularly, and have known each other/played together for almost a year now. There was some awkwardness again this time, because the other Mr. deals with ED and it seems to be getting worse, especially in his head. Last time (told in link above), he couldn't get it up with me and got all frantic and panicky about it (which embarrassed me). My hubby saved the day by paying attention, quickly and smoothly switching back to me, and letting other Mrs. deal with her Mr.'s panic and issue. It worked out fine, because they kept going, and so did we. We didn't have any subsequent conversation about that. My hubby and I felt his having ED with me was no big deal..."stuff happens". We were just uncomfortable with his reaction. But I could tell this time, there had been much discussion and concern about it between themselves since the last time. There were murmerings between them, the other Mrs. coaxing him, etc. Before that, when other Mr. and I started kissing, he felt like a ball of nerves and was literally shaking. Again, awkward for me. He's not been a real good kisser especially when nervous like this - he's one of those snake-tongue guys that's more tongue than lips (turn-off) - so I whispered to him a few times, "less tongue", and it got better. I don't like to have to instruct on things like kissing, but what else can you do? The kissing has to be good or decent for me to even get turned-on. He thanked me though, and said he wanted me to tell him things so he could do it the way I wanted. Other than that, I had to ask him to give head softer in order for me to come, which I did with ease, and he got lighter with the pressure with much "success". The sex switched back and forth different ways, with lots of interesting and fun positions, a little girl-girl show that the guys really enjoyed, etc. My hubby and other Mrs. had been at it different times/ways already, and between hubby and me (he realllly has stamina), but other Mr. hadn't attempted any penetration with me after quite some time in the room. I was just going with the flow of the moment, no real concern or thoughts about it. But, this is when the coaxing/murmering became apparent, and other Mrs. seemed to be "talking him into it", to penetrate me. (Made me feel a little awkward, but I blew it off.) After the coaxing by his Mrs., he entered me from behind, while my hubby went behind other Mrs., she and I holding hands. We each had the view of our own husbands behind the other, which was very sexy (hubby and I love it best when we can see each other - very hot). Other Mr. has some kind of pump device and a ring, so he can obtain an erection and then hold onto it with the ring. I've never seen it up close, they keep it in a bag and the lights are dim, but they've used it since the first time we were with them. He seems to try everything to not use the pump, but if he does, he "works" just fine. Again, of no real consequence to me, one way or the other. He was using it this time. So, in the doggie position, we all four were having a great time. Other Mr. came really hard and long while penetrating me, one of those very drawn-out orgasms that lasts at least a full minute! I certainly thought this would cause him to feel much better about everything (successful). It was very obvious he really enjoyed that (he was very verbal). Other than all the insecurity stuff, it seemed like a great time was had by all, and we certainly enjoyed it very much -- other than the fact that we feel we have to coddle them both with their insecurities. We thought that the way things went, they'd gotten a bolster and both would have felt real good about things. The other issue is other Mrs.' body-image issue. She's lost a good bit of weight, has sagging skin more than before she lost the weight, and is highly conscious of it now. Again, of no consequence to us whatsoever, and we keep making it clear by words and actions. However, we feel we need to go out of our way to bolster her, offer lots of compliments, etc. We both did that for her on Saturday. On Sunday, I wrote a little note as we usually do after, letting them know what a great time we had and how "hot" the night was. Other Mr. wrote back, apologizing about his ED, and saying he's "struck out" with us twice in a row now. Struck out???? He seemed to be having an amazing time in me, made lots of exclamations about the tightness and feel, and came like a madman. How is that striking out?? At least other Mrs. felt great (and accepted), according to what he wrote us. sigh Hubby and I are getting weary with the drama. He told me he had the thought that "he needs to find me a good man". We both laughed at how that sounded! I told him that I have a good man. We're debating how to answer this email, and haven't, yet. We consider this couple to be friends we've made. We enjoy all our time with them, in and out of the bedroom (dinners, dancing, etc), so we care about them and their feelings. But, how hard do we have to "work" to prove to them they're acceptable as they are? We hope they just get over themselves and learn to relax with people they SAY they're very comfortable being with. What would YOU do?