[EvilMJ]

I've taken one for the team. Very much like xxoticangel's story. Her hubby was at sea and out of respect we waited until he returned (allowing her to send photos etc, so that he got an idea of what we looked like before hand so there were no surprises).

The night finally came when we decided to get together, have some supper at their place, watch a movie and have some fun. He was very quiet, and while certainly not bad looking, I felt nothing for him, no spark, no lust…zero. I guess I felt like, since he wasn’t ugly and wasn’t a bad person and we went through all this trouble; I should at least give it a try.

Well, the night was a bust; he was done quickly and was only concerned about himself.
We did try again later and he did get a bit better, but when it all came down to it I just wasn’t having fun. In fact a lot of time he made me feel very unattractive with his lack of attention. His wife said that that was just his personality and he really prefers or needs to have the woman take the initiative. It just didn’t work for me.

We were upfront and honest with them and said we were not going to continue playing with them (but remained friends), because her husband and I just didn’t click. They weren’t offended by this.

You can be honest with people without being offensive. If anyone has been swinging for any length of time, they learn to accept that you are going to face rejection from time to time, we all have our own preferences and you may not fit into that. Being honest, polite and diplomatic about it will just make it less awkward. You don’t have to say “dude you are so ugly you are scaring my wife!!” you could just say that you don’t think it is going to work because you just don’t feel any connection.