The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Vanilla friends who express and interest in swinging...

MoonLightKiss · 06-06-2006, 02:43 PM

Alright, really gonna work hard at keeping this short, so wish me luck.

Last night, a vanilla couple, very good friends of ours who know we are swingers, brought up the subject of swinging. They wanted to know what swinging actually is, how do we meet couples, is it fun, yada yada yada. We were as honest with them as possible without revealing details into whom we had been with. We don't believe in kissing and telling.

Some background on their marraige. The wife had an affair and called it quits a couple of months ago. They separated for a couple of weeks and are currently involved in counseling with their pastor to work through it. They fight constantly, I am the one getting phone calls from her at 2 a.m. in regards to the fight they are currently having, and I get these calls at least three times a week.

They asked us if they should get into swinging. IMHO they have no business getting involved in the lifestyle, because their relationship isn't strong enough for this yet. Not to mention the fact that when I asked them why they were doing this her answer was, because she likes to have sex with other people becuase her husband isn't doing that much for her, and his answer was if they do this then he doesn't have to worry about her cheating. I quickly told them if that was their reasons they got no business doing this, because all they are going to do is bring their drama into other peoples lives. I also told them, that it was too soon in their marraige, especially considering it was already on the rocks. I also told them, that if they wanted to end up in divorce court, to go ahead with swinging at this point in their marraige. However, I also told them about this board, gave them the site, and told them to visit, look around and ask their questions here, because so many others have been doing this longer and have more experience and would probably be able to answer their questions better than I can.

Anyway my problem is this. Now they are mad at us because they think we are being hypocritical. Saying we are swingers, and how dare we discourage them from doing it. I tried to explain again, its not that I do or don't want them to, its that I care for both of them and don't want to see them do it this soon after so many problems.

Was I wrong about them not being ready? Should I have kept my mouth shut and just told them to come here, that I was too new to answer their questions?

06-06-2006, 02:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
MoonLightKiss Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 415 Location: Kentucky Status: Couple	Vanilla friends who express and interest in swinging... Alright, really gonna work hard at keeping this short, so wish me luck. Last night, a vanilla couple, very good friends of ours who know we are swingers, brought up the subject of swinging. They wanted to know what swinging actually is, how do we meet couples, is it fun, yada yada yada. We were as honest with them as possible without revealing details into whom we had been with. We don't believe in kissing and telling. Some background on their marraige. The wife had an affair and called it quits a couple of months ago. They separated for a couple of weeks and are currently involved in counseling with their pastor to work through it. They fight constantly, I am the one getting phone calls from her at 2 a.m. in regards to the fight they are currently having, and I get these calls at least three times a week. They asked us if they should get into swinging. IMHO they have no business getting involved in the lifestyle, because their relationship isn't strong enough for this yet. Not to mention the fact that when I asked them why they were doing this her answer was, because she likes to have sex with other people becuase her husband isn't doing that much for her, and his answer was if they do this then he doesn't have to worry about her cheating. I quickly told them if that was their reasons they got no business doing this, because all they are going to do is bring their drama into other peoples lives. I also told them, that it was too soon in their marraige, especially considering it was already on the rocks. I also told them, that if they wanted to end up in divorce court, to go ahead with swinging at this point in their marraige. However, I also told them about this board, gave them the site, and told them to visit, look around and ask their questions here, because so many others have been doing this longer and have more experience and would probably be able to answer their questions better than I can. Anyway my problem is this. Now they are mad at us because they think we are being hypocritical. Saying we are swingers, and how dare we discourage them from doing it. I tried to explain again, its not that I do or don't want them to, its that I care for both of them and don't want to see them do it this soon after so many problems. Was I wrong about them not being ready? Should I have kept my mouth shut and just told them to come here, that I was too new to answer their questions?