Wow these multiple question posts are getting difficult I feel like I am being interviewed
-what are your standards in how you choose playmates?
Standards is an interesting word, we choose our partners by attraction which is not always just physical. We look for comfort and openess. There are no real "standards" per say.
-why do some swingers have NO standards and will screw anyone?
Ahh now I get a better understanding of what you are meaning by standards. I agree with the prior poster, there are people both in and out of the lifestyle that will screw anyone. People are all different in every walk of life you can only control what you want for you.
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-how important is it to be physically attracted/chemistry to someone for play?
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For the male very important for the female not as much. (female) I find that the men I am at first physically attracted to I don't often end up sleeping with as their personality has something that turns me off. For me it is more often the guy I think is okay to start with but he has a wow kind of personality that just gets my motor running.
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If you have to be comfortable enough to do that, and im not, so does that mean swinging isnt for me?
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You only have to be comfortable with what you want to be comfortable with. Swinging isn't about being an exhibitionist or about allowing all sorts of strangers to randomly grab you.
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-are you picky about who your partner will be with? If not, why?
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Yes I would like to know he has chosen a nice person same with he wants me to be safe and not feel pressured into doing anything I am not ready for.
-if the women of the couple isnt bi and not interested in playing with me, should my opinion of her matter? since it will be between her and my man. Should I approve of her screwing my man? or let him totaly choose for himself if its a woman i wont play with or vise versa?
This all depends on your agreement as a couple. In my relationship my opinion does count, and it is never just between her and my man. Whatever happens always is about us as a couple.
-If the woman in the couple is bisexual, and im not attracted to her, but I am attracted to her man, and my partner is into the woman... would it be appropriate to say we'll play but no fem/fem play, only male on female?
Very appropriate