hi dez, im not trying to judge you or your relationship. we have been through some trauma and drama ourselvs and all it took was mrs.fun to say hit the breaks on swinging and things came to a full stop. yes we have and were in a long term relationship first. we do check and post on the board and also on Swing Lifestyle.that was agreed on by both of us, but that dosent mean we are swapping now. we decided that would be our boundries and we stick to the rules. rules that we make together. i dont know if its possible for you but one step we have taken is to seek some profesional help and it seems that you might benifit from it. luckily for us the long term benifits were allready established. we always have each other above all els.our oldest son and daughter in law were the first in our family to seek some profesional help (NO THEY ARE NOT SWINGERS!!! GIVE ME A BREAK IF YOUR EVEN THINKING THAT) with their relationship before they were married and some relationship grounds had to be established. first thing they learned was from a profesional when the conversation got heated up was to have that person stand up and walk write out saying "im not here to listen to the argument" and walked out. you need to respect each other that when things are not on a talking /listening level. TAKE TIME OUT walk away if even for a half hr. and try talking again. maby this isnt making any sence now, but relationships have to be worked on sometimes. and if the relationship isnt FIRST then the normal everyday stuff like jobs,bills, family, friends arn't going to be easy. i dont know how to explain this and this might be a bad example but i look at it like this ...
an onion has a core and many layers surround it. now if you keep adding bad layers then its going to take alot of peeling thoes layers away to get to the core. some layers will be great and some layers will be terrible but we build thoes layers non the less. i hope you can work on thoes layers because in the core is a peacefull life. and you deserve that
. mr.fun