 Re: boundaries, it's a hang-up or they're being jealous?
When my hubby and I first started, we had some trouble setting rules for us. We had a list a mile long, for stupid reasons these rules were on it. Like no kissing. I said we could, he said it was too intimate and we shouldn't. What we did, was talk these rules to death, and accepted that if the other had a good reason, (not an excuse) as to why it shouldn't be a rule, then the other had to take the time to think about it and then respond rather than just automatically saying "no".
What we ended up with were a set of guidelines, and a set of rules. Then we ended up with just two rules. Stop, means just that. Stop. No ifs, no whining, no complaining then or later. Stop means something uncomfortable for one of us is going on, we stop and then we can discuss it later in private. Our second rule, is respect each and everyone in the room. That means our spouse and the other couple/single. As long as those two rules are followed, we do not forsee any problems.
Now, if we were too meet someone with a list a mile long of rules, I would have to say I would probably take more time to get to know them before playing with them, just to make sure they are not going to have problems. But I base this decision on other threads I have read by more experienced swingers. I have only had one encounter so I really do not know for myself. |