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Originally Posted by 04kingpin A lot of people here seem to think that it's all or nothing. |
I wouldn't say a LOT of people here feel this way. Actually, I think most of the posters here respect boundaries - but if those boundaries are too constricting, they might not choose to play.
For example - we have played with couples who say "no kissing" but the experience didn't feel right to us. Kissing is part of the fun for us. So - if someone said "no kissing" (a rule we totally get because it was on our first - very long - list of rules) we would say "thanks but no thanks."
Nothing wrong with them - but the play wouldn't be fun for us - so what's the point?
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Originally Posted by 04kingpin We prefer same room together, no anal with the "other" guy, and no playing without our SO there. |
These are our boundaries as well. I am not sure what constitutes "red flag", but my guess is people who can't move until they consult their rule book. "I can put my foot here, but not here" types.
I once had an experience where a woman sat indian style on the bed - totally naked - and went through an impressive list of rules - all of which related to things I would never do or things I would ask about during play. Needless to say - the lecture wasn't wood-worthy so I finally stopped her and asked, "are we going to fuck or what?"
She laughed and we did...
She realized that everything was going to be just fine - and I was going to ask before I did anything that I felt might not be invited. First times are always fun that way.
Spoomonkey