The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Having Boundaries = personal hangups or jealousy

04kingpin · 05-25-2006, 11:36 AM

What else would you like to say, do, see, hear about or learn about.
THESE ARE THE THINGS WE WILL DO IF THE MOOD IS RIGHT:
1]Explore female-female fantasies (no set limits)
2]Your man - kissing and above waste contact with me
3]Your woman - kissing and above waste contact with my husband
4]Same room sex (with spouse)

THESE ARE THE THINGS WE MIGHT DO:
1] My husband/Your woman - everything but intercourse.
2] Me/Your husband - a work in SLOW progress, but previously let another man perform oral on me (See above). No guarantees though.

THIS IS WHAT WE ARE NOT READY FOR NOW AND MAYBE NEVER:
1] Full swap.....

This is, shall we say, a red flag

So There is no middle ground? Do all your vanilla friends have issues then?
A lot of people here seem to think that it's all or nothing. So where is the boundry in your mind that tells you the flag is green and not red. Most people have boundries of some sort and that dont mean they are "not ready". We prefer same room together, no anal with the "other" guy, and no playing without our SO there. How about no cream pies? Are we a red flag? Are you BI? If you are not, does that mean you have issues? Of course it does. It means you dont want suck a dick. So are you a red flag? To some people you are. You have your boundies-limits and so do we. This does not mean we should not be in the lifestyle.

Quote:
How come a lot ofexperienced people SEEM to have this opinion that any time someone has limits/boundaries, it's a hang-up or they're being jealous?

Also not sure what you are getting at. I haven't seen people being overly critical on couples setting limits/boundaries, in fact just the opposite. With newer couples the advice often seems to be, communication and set your limits/boundaries.

Better read through some of these posts again then because that attitude is plastered all over this forum (and this post). It seems the more experienced people are the more judgemental they are. Of course not all and I dont mean to be so general about and I do not mean to offend anyone.
One of the biggest concerns we have is how people will react to our limits-boundries based what we have read here.

So where is that line that in your opinion says green flag and not red.

05-25-2006, 11:36 AM	#12 (permalink)
04kingpin Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 28 Location: Ohio Status: couple	Re: boundaries, it's a hang-up or they're being jealous? What else would you like to say, do, see, hear about or learn about. THESE ARE THE THINGS WE WILL DO IF THE MOOD IS RIGHT: 1]Explore female-female fantasies (no set limits) 2]Your man - kissing and above waste contact with me 3]Your woman - kissing and above waste contact with my husband 4]Same room sex (with spouse) THESE ARE THE THINGS WE MIGHT DO: 1] My husband/Your woman - everything but intercourse. 2] Me/Your husband - a work in SLOW progress, but previously let another man perform oral on me (See above). No guarantees though. THIS IS WHAT WE ARE NOT READY FOR NOW AND MAYBE NEVER: 1] Full swap..... This is, shall we say, a red flag So There is no middle ground? Do all your vanilla friends have issues then? A lot of people here seem to think that it's all or nothing. So where is the boundry in your mind that tells you the flag is green and not red. Most people have boundries of some sort and that dont mean they are "not ready". We prefer same room together, no anal with the "other" guy, and no playing without our SO there. How about no cream pies? Are we a red flag? Are you BI? If you are not, does that mean you have issues? Of course it does. It means you dont want suck a dick. So are you a red flag? To some people you are. You have your boundies-limits and so do we. This does not mean we should not be in the lifestyle. Quote: How come a lot ofexperienced people SEEM to have this opinion that any time someone has limits/boundaries, it's a hang-up or they're being jealous? Also not sure what you are getting at. I haven't seen people being overly critical on couples setting limits/boundaries, in fact just the opposite. With newer couples the advice often seems to be, communication and set your limits/boundaries. Better read through some of these posts again then because that attitude is plastered all over this forum (and this post). It seems the more experienced people are the more judgemental they are. Of course not all and I dont mean to be so general about and I do not mean to offend anyone. One of the biggest concerns we have is how people will react to our limits-boundries based what we have read here. So where is that line that in your opinion says green flag and not red.