Mr. Alura is right.
The way I look at it, every person you play with brings something different to your experience. The same is true from your spouses perspective. If we were all the same, what would the point of swinging be?
It's like ordering the same thing for breakfast every morning. Changing to something else every once in a while doesn't mean you don't like your favorite anymore. In fact it can make it taste all the better.
Learn to relax and enjoy the differences. I personally think it's cool to see a guy (or a lady) make my wife cum as hard as she can. It's something you don't really get to appreciate the same way when you're the one on top of her. That being said, there is some inherent insecurity that can creep in, but Love is the cure for that.
In sex, there is no standard metric of pleasure. It's fun because it's different, not because it's better. As long as you don't forget that, and as long as you don't forget that you Love each other, enjoying the sex part is easy.
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