Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Tybee Swing Thanks, but I'm not beating myself up at all and I don't think it's my "fault".  Not that it's his fault, either -- it's just what happened. It's going to happen sometimes, especially in our age group - over 40. |
I hate to say this, but it isn't just the age.
I am in my early 30s and well this happens to me quite frequently, even if I have medical help...
For me I approach is very similar to how Serenieders has described. Before any playdate is set, I speak with the lady and explain that I have been known to have issues and to just go with it. Sometimes if I ignore it and just concentrate on the lady things work out, sometimes they don't. As longs as she is having a good time and isn't upset about it, I have learned not to stress over it.
We have figured out for me that it appears to be a combination of two things, one the condom (I hate them) and two if it is a new partner, then it takes a few play dates for me to be comfortable with the lady. Some things that seem to help me out in this situation also is to do just what you guys did. Sometimes I will go back to MrsVan and spend some time with her. Sometimes I can have a short session with her without a condom and then once I am going, she can put the condom on and the other lady and I can resume play. This isn't the best situation but sometimes it works. This is yet another reason we play same room only and as close together as possible.
From my perspective, I don't ever expect the lady to do anything to "fix" the problem. If it isn't working, I will usually say so and then just go back to pleasing her and see where nature takes us.
-Van