[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Men, if you've ever been in this situation as the guy, what do you expect the woman to do - or hope she will do?

When I was a very young man, my erections were predictable...I always had one, whether I wanted it or not...and women were fickle. It seemed that no matter how well I treated a woman, some would enter, then leave my life for no apparent reason.

A few decades have passed, and the situation has since reversed. Now, women are predictable...I always seem to have one, whether I want one or not...while my erections sometimes enter then leave my life for no apparent. Sometimes, I know there's likely to be a problem. Stress, being preoccupied with other things, not being attracted to the other person in the first place, etc., all bode ill for the legendary "Blue-veiner." But other times, I AM attracted to the other person, I AM looking forward to having sex with them, and everything else in my life IS going well, when suddenly and without warning, my erection will simply go away. It leaves without warning, in much the same way a cat will jump off your lap and leave the room. Nothing will bring it back, and trust me, Darlin', I've had some extremely talented women try.

Usually, the best way to deal with it is NOT to deal with it, and to focus my attentions on my partner instead. I've found that as soon as I stop worring about not having an erection...I start getting one.

Since it worked out just fine for him when he went back to his wife, I'm guessing the reason it wasn't working with me would be nerves, anticipation, performance anxiety, or some other non-physical reason would be the cause of it? He made comments about my husband's endurance, stamina, etc. a few times - could this have anything to do with it??

Very possibly. If I were already having performance issues, then looked over and saw some guy riding my wife like a cheap dirt bike, I'd probably lose my enthusiasm for the whole thing, too.

Being a good lover is 50% learning how to please another, and 50% learning how to be pleased by another. Don't beat yourself up too much over this...at the very worst, it's only half your fault.