We agree with 2jersey here...we started out as soft swap simply because we were new and weren't really sure about this lifestyle except that it interested us and it turned us on. We took the slow road and I'm glad we did. As the saying goes, Only go as fast as the slowest partner. Now we enjoy full swap and are very comfortable. The same thing can be said about the no kissing rule and other such rules and boundries....is it insecurity or just a couple who is testing the water so to speak? The people we have met in this lifestyle that have such rules have turned out to be new to the lifestyle and unsure of how to proceed. I can't assume that it's like that for everyone, though. I only know that we started out soft swap because it was our comfort level at the time. Our comfort level has increased because we were able to communicate our desires without being afraid of judgement. Don't know if this really answers your question...but I try...
