[us2]

We are a newly wed couple, (1.5 years) and new to the lifestyle as well. Actually, I would say that we are still playing with the idea of the lifestyle. We are deeply in love. I trust this man completely. In the past, I have been hurt both physically but most damaging was the emothional aspects. Sex for me up until a few years ago was at best a solo effort and and worst just going through the motions but never what I would call satisfying. I have now discovered the sexual side of me. One I adore exploring very much. I feel as if I have just begun to live. I expand my comfort zone with each new experience. I pinch myself at times and often comment "can you beleiv e I did that?" This was acheived by trust. Trusting my partner is the key to my sexual satisfaction.
My husband would like to watch me give oral sex to another male. I on the other hand have never fantisized about watching my husband haveing sex of any kind with another woman I understand and fully accept the difference between sex and love and do not think that our relationship could be harmed by that, but at the same time, we, all of us I beleive come prepackaged with a "mine" instinct . I realize that that is a form of insecurtity but until I see this, I really don't know how I will feel. I only have past experice to draw from which were negitve. We've discussed the whole swinging issues and have agreed on what our groundrules are if it becomes a reality. Basically they are we choose togerther, we should know know the person, we don't see them again. We know that those will evolve over time, but those are the rules to start with. We have had a female with us one time. I agreed to this purely because I wanted to make him happy, and I truley thought he wanted to watch 2 women. What man doesn't, right?SHe was more interested in me, but, I'm not bi. She was too aggressive from the moment we walked in the door. It became awkward when I realized that I wasn't going to do anything for her, and I didn't want my husband to either. I really thought he would be happy to watch. As it ended up, he gave her oral, she came, I pretty much don't rememnber any details.Wasn't too fun for me, but, caused no harm either. Then after almost a year, and so very much discussion (which is ongoing today)we hired a male through the newspaper. He seemed nice on the phone. Down to earth, and we had had a difficult time finding a guy we didn't know that I felt comforatble with . For me to enjoy the experince, I want to get to know him some, and feel safe and comfortable. BUT THat breaks rule one. Husband sees it as more than recreation if I take time to become attracted. Hence, male for hire. Turns out, he was not physically atractive but, not aggressive or threatning either. I did perfrom some oral, but, that was all. He performed oral on my husband with me giving my concent. this did nothing for my husband. He is a sexual man, and is comforatable were most men would not be. He is not gay or even what I would consider bi, he is just sexual and confident in who he is. Met one coulple at local swing club. Several time we have sat and chatted. They are hard core. THey shared some of their history with us. Husband began questions of "what about him" when we first met them, but, his wife was not of interest to either of us, and after several meetings we began to "know"him. Bad for husband, good for wife. We saw him in club one night without wife. He obviously wants me, but is veteran enough to be patient and knows we haven't crossed line. I, saw that evening as a perfect time. I would even say that I wanted to, I was comfortable with all of the factors. HOWever, that which comforted me, caused same discomfort for husband. So, here's the ulitmate question and the reason for this novel, What is our problem? Are we doomed? Any suggestions besides talking and taking time. We are on both accounts. Not pressured not silent Were cool, we just seek your input.
Signed by and written by both of us or Us2.