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Originally Posted by nexteltx Well fuck that...I came here to fucking air out what I can't ask of anyone...not my friends not my family, not my coworkers...I wanted advice and I thought you all gave good advice...I don't know anything about this kinda shit other then occasionally talking 'bout it with my wife...if i have to fucking clarify it a hundred times in this topic and ask the same questions...you could fucking help me or not fucking open this damn topic...all i wanted here was someone to talk to... |
Ok, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and assume this isn't some sort of troll...
Look man... here's the thing. No on here can truly tell you what to do. We've all answered your question very clearly. You (the 2 of you) aren't swinging at the very least. At least not as I understand and define it. It envolves total and complete agreement on the activities...which as you yourself have stated... is not what is happening. You don't agree with what is happening. At the very least, you need to both sit down and discuss what's going on. Discuss your problems with it. Discuss her problems with not including you. Find out why it HAS to be this weekend with THIS guy. If it's the same guy she's seeing all the time, then there is likely more there than some casual recreational sex. If she won't include you then she's hiding something.... or the other guy can't handle it, in which case, he needs to be out of the picture. This needs to be made clear. To HIM AND HER. If he can't play with both of you, he can't play. That needs to be made clear to both HIM AND HER.
Assuming this is not some sort of troll post.... then take all the advice and comments given here, which are not going to change from one to the next really... and work with that. If you don't like what we've said here, which I could understand (no one wants to be told they're in a situation that is very dangerous and destructive to their relationship), then reposting the same question hoping for a different answer is also understandable... but understand that there aren't many swingers I've ever heard of or known who would disagree with any of the assessments we've given here. Also... it may just be that if you can find some way to justify what's happening as swinging, and it is something that is making you as uncomfortable as you obviously are, then swinging is NOT for you guys... at least not at this particular time in your relationship. If on the other hand it is all as you have described it... then she is cheating on you.... whether it is the extra sex she wants or something else altogether.... that's just the way I think everyone here is going to see it. At least I (and my wife) see it that way.
Sincerely,
Mr. C