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Originally Posted by Chicup Two/three hours tops.
Even as newbies it only took going to dinner for us 
Anyone who waits as long as you described is not ready to swing or afraid to initiate. Its time to ask 'do you want to play'. |
My thoughts exactly.
We always want to get to know people before jumping into bed with them, we want to feel sure there is a desired comfort level. And for us this doesn't take long. Every time we've met a new couple (that we wanted to play with) we've played on the first meet. I don't think finding friendship and sex with people are exclusive of the other nor do you have to be best friends before you first play. For us, the friendship develops
after the sex and the sex then gets better.
It only takes us a few hours to know if we want to play with a couple. There is never any pressure from us or them to play, it just happens this way when everyone clicks.
Only once have I not been the initiator out of the four of us...I usually have to back the guy up against a wall and tell him I'm interested and ask him if he feels the same about me.
I've always received a "yes!" I then ask him if he feels his wife is interested in my husband. He says he can tell she is. And we go from there. The heat soon rises and within the hour we're off playing.
If you come upon a couple at a club and only spend a few minutes with them each time, I can see where your approach could be slower. Even still, I think it's up to you to make your wishes known because they may be afraid too. Somebody has got to speak up.
We're not interested in time-consuming "dating," we want to make something happen. We primarily meet swingers through ad sites and we've already corresponded enough before the first date to know there is a strong interest. By the time we meet we're all excited to see each other. If it's meant to be we prefer to make sex happen sooner than later.
I do think there are many couples who are regular club goers who do little if any playing. They go for the social atmosphere. I've not had experience coming upon such situations, but I've read other forums where these types frustrate swingers. I read that the social "flirt only" couples feel they have as much right to be at the clubs as those who play. And I believe they do.
That leaves those of us who want to swing with the responsibility of asking the BIG question: "Can I play with you?"
LM