Well, we like the "friend" thing but really this is about sex to us. We did the dating thing when we were younger and to us dating is to get married. To us if everyone clicks and there is chemistry then it is get nekkid time. I would get board fast if it was constant dating and nothing to show for it. If they are a little shy, maybe one or two dates beyond first meeting. After that if they arent willing to play then we move on. I have enough "friends" and being in this lifestyle we are looking to play not date. One of the reasons we try to stay back from newer couples or those that seem to have issues. We are just looking for some fun on the side.
As for how to take it to the next level...I'm pretty aggresive in that one in which I am willing to make the first move. I am Bi so I usually will ask the lady (if I like her) if I can kiss her and well things heat up quickly after that!! You may want to talk to them and find out if they are okay with taking it further. Maybe since they have less experiance than you thought they may be waiting for you to make the first move. We have been with couples though that we did alot of talking and dating with before play but they didnt stick around very long.(I lost interest and play just wasnt as fun) And we do have couples we meet in the lifestyle and are only friends with for some reason or another. It depends on what you are looking for. If you really want to play talk to them about it. If they keep putting it off maybe you should walk away or just be friends without expectations of playing.
Best of luck!! BB
