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Originally Posted by 2jersey We started down the communications path with this couple before we realized that they weren't living together. Now that we have this fact, we don't see the harm in investigating further. We ask a few questions, dig for some detail, and if we aren't completely satisfied that this couple is legit, we walk away - no big deal. You have a problem with this approach? |
It's not
my call, even if they
are married to other people and cheating together. You made a comment in a previous post...
"we are concerned that one or both members of the couple are married and cheating on a spouse. If this were the case, it would be a clear deal breaker..."
It just occurred to me that their situation was highly suspicous. Since it's important to
you that they not be cheaters, and since I assumed you were asking for comments on the situation, I was only offering my $.02 worth.
One thing I've noticed as a quasi-outsider to all this, is that this "lifestyle" thing is attended by a fair amount of bullshit. (So is the vanilla dating world, but that's a subject for another message board) At the very core are some really strong couples in some amazingly strong relationships..."Supercouples" as one of my friends puts it.
There's very little bullshit with those people. They
are who they say they are, they
know what they're looking for, and they don't have much patience (or sympathy) for those whose standards for marriage are less than theirs.
On the periphery, however, are people who are desparately
trying to be swingers, but who never really are. Some of those are couples who might be in a "relationship" of sorts, but it's not one that would pass muster with a true "Supercouple." Two people who are cheating on their respective spouses, would be a perfect example of that type of couple.
Their world is almost EXCLUSIVELY bullshit. They'll often cancel plans at the last minute...they can't take calls at home, and you can talk to one, but never both, when you do call...they're evasive about personally identifying characteristics, such as where they work or live...they can't meet in public place (or in their hometown)...
and the biggie...
they can't play on weeknights or weekends, when most legitimate couples would be spending time together and available to play.
I'd like to see you follow up with these people. Play detective, feel 'em out, see what other kinds of "restrictions" they have on their playtime. Maybe they're legit, maybe they're shift workers or something. But my guess is that as you start pressing for specifics, they're going to get
very uncomfortable, and dissapear entirely...possibly after accusing you of "prying into their business."
Keep us posted...