[2jersey]

Hopefully it is obvious to most people that we posted this story to the board because we are concerned that one or both members of the couple are married and cheating on a spouse. If this were the case, it would be a clear deal breaker – we would not be interested.

It seems that we have two choices when it comes to discerning this couple’s marital status. We can engage the couple in polite conversation about their lives, and attempt to read between the lines. Or we can ask them a direct question and hope we receive an honest answer.

The best case scenario is that they are each divorced (and committed to one another) and have a rational reason for not living together. Perhaps they want to hide their relationship from their children. Divorce can be painful for young children, and it can be made worse if mommy or daddy suddenly has a new lover. We actually know a man who is in this very situation.

Assuming they are divorced, they may be limited to daytime play because they are unwilling to entrust their children to babysitters (or can’t afford babysitters). It is also possible that they have a separate evening obligation which they did not mention - but judging from the wording of their message to us, we don’t think this is the case.

A middle-of-the-road scenario is that they are separated from their spouses, but not yet divorced. In this case, we will probably err on the side of caution and avoid them until their divorce is complete.

One way or another – we will figure it out before we get anywhere near the bedroom. And don’t worry, people, we will do the right thing.