[thor-in-vegas]

shygirl,

i have an opinion here; it may apply to you guys, it may not.
i think when a guy hears that his girl is turned on by other women, our porno minds go off in all directions with dirty ideas. and you know since we're men, we cant really help it. i think he is starting slowly, trying to ease you into the idea. only YOU know your man well enough to know whether or not this is something he wants to do for both of you, or just for himself.

"Problem: I feel like he wants this experience with other couples, women and himself in particular b/c he is lacking something in our sex life. Also I fear he will become attracted to the other person and the thought of him doing with someone else what he does with me, hurts."

how do you feel your sex life is now?
i know for me, (and this is still too new to be totally sure) that the reason i can be O.K. with watching my girl get nasty with another guy, is because i dont believe its possible for anyone to get her off as good as i can. (and do!)
she says she feels the same way, that she would find it hot, but no one can do what i can do. (god i love her!)
so i still get to feel like the alpha male!

i can tell you what worked for my girl to get me to be honest with myself about what im comfortable with and what im not.
(this was a while ago. she knew that i was only bringing up the idea of swinging because I wanted to bring another girl into our bed)
she said, "so you'd be ok with me being with another guy?"
i said, "yeah" (i was SOOO not sure)
so she descibed it in detail and watched my body language and reactions to the image of her with someone else.
well, that worked for me. i knew i was not ready, and stopped asking. (for awhile!)
the difference between now and then is the bond between us, and the strength of our relationship. it was not strong enough then; we both are thinking that it is now.
see how he reacts! if he gets all weirded out and tells you to stop describing it, (this could be fun for you to watch him fidget!) then you know he was only bringing up the idea of you with another guy so that he can get what he wants.
im changing my mind; maybe he is too. maybe not.

how does it affect our relationship? does it cause jealousy?

well, when it was all about me, and she knew it; it caused fights, and jealousy.
since she feels now that its something that is "FOR" the relationship, and about both of us and nobody else; (and i do too) then the jealousy kind of just fades away because we're together.
does that make any sense? i dont know.
good luck, and keep us "posted",
thor