[thor-in-vegas]

shigirl269, and all,

thanks for the replies.

shigirl, thanks for your post, its kind of nice to have the other side of the coin here reading this.

i too, find it really freeing to be able to talk about this subject, and dont have any friends i can talk to about this stuff. (of course i have my girl, but sometimes you want an outsiders point of view)

i realized when i started typing my first post, (erased all and started over twice) that my situation cant "really" be understood by anyone that doesnt know the "whole" story, and i cant expect anyone to read the novel that would be involved in that.
i do not feel like i am being sneaky by asking these questions, i feel like you guys are a group of impartial friends that i can confide in.

"It sounds to me like this is more for your benefit then it is for both you, no matter how you try to say differently."

yes, i realize that my thoughts are selfish, and i am not usually that kind of guy. im not trying to "word around" the fact that it would be for me, i was just trying to add in that it would not be the first time we have "gone down this path".


my girl and i have been through a lot, and we are stronger for it. we really do have a pretty good dialog with eachother and talk about everything. including this. i think i am just displaying some of the fears that lots of people feel when considering something like this.

yes, part of me is a chauvanistic male that wants to feel like he is the only man in the world, but i am also quite sensitive, and want my girl to be truely happy.


UPDATE: typing this yesterday must have opened my mind up a bit, and you guys must have inspired me.
last night my girl and i had a wonderful talk about all this stuff.
guess what im finding out! im not as freaked out about seeing her with another man as i thought i was. on my own, thinking about it seemed very uncomfortable, but with her, it actually seems kinda hot!
my mind was changed when she said something that i had already read here.
she said, "its not about the other person, they are like a really good sex toy that we get to play with."
that makes sense to me. i do not get jealous when i use a dildo to make her come, because i know that I'M the one that gave her the orgasm. i just used tools to do it. same thing with a swing partner; its still just about the two of us, but the toy works itself! (trying to be funny here)
we havent agreed to anything yet, and its still just talk, but i DEFINITELY know now that this is something that she's thought about too, and not in a bad way.
i guess i was scared to open up about it, but we have have grown so much in our relationship that things that used to be fight starters are now pillow talk.
WOO HOO!
i hope you guys can see that i really am committed to my girl and she completes me. i am here for perspective.

i appreciate any and all input, and i will keep you updated about our "hot talk".
yes, she knows that i visited a swinging site and asked for opinions, she was unsure how she felt at first, but she said that she knows that i research EVERYTHING to death, so this is not surprising to her.

thanks for the help, im growing by leaps and bounds,
thor

PS-shygirl, there is a post here that is to you, thought it would be too long winded to include it here.