[thor-in-vegas]

thanks for the reply,
we have talked about the idea before,
and while the conversation is hot, if i have ever tried to "realize" the idea, she gets jealous and thinks that she is not enough for me.

i have to say that i am struggling with that very question.

she is my best friend (we've known eachother since high school), and i do not want to ever be without her, but sexually, i do feel like i am "missing something". (selfish i know, but thats what's in my head)

i should point out that we have had an on and off relationship in the past, and have been fully committed for the past 18 months, and engaged for 4.

we have had some experiences in the past that might be important to mention, but i feel like they would take two full pages of text to explain. (i know how boring it is to read a seemingly endless post)

let me try to be very brief, and please ask for any details. im glad to give them.

we were a couple about four years ago, and i ended it. i hurt her very badly because of my immaturity.
she hurt me back by blowing one of my friends. (her immaturity at work)

we began seeing eachother on an uncommitted basis about 8 months later, and one night she took me to a strip club and ended up bringing home a girl that was there with some friends. (she didnt work there)
well, we were all together on the bed, and i began to go down on the girl, and my girl tapped me on the shoulder and whispered that this girl was too drunk. i agreed and we put a blanket on her, and went out in the living room to watch TV. my girl thought that i should have noticed sooner and still thinks that i didnt care if she was fully conscious or not. (i did!!!)
we are cool, but she still thinks im a bit of a dog. (i think i might be!)

so you can see, that she knows that i want this, and by being too eager in the past, i have soured her on the situation.
i want her to be comfortable with her attraction to girls, if there really is one. (not sure yet) but i am not in a position to be bringing this up.

if you asked my honest opinion of what my girl is feeling; i would say that she is honsetly turned on by other girls, but gets self conscious if it goes anywhere beyond fantasy talk.

PS: i only have net access at work, so i cant bring her on the forum with me.
thor