The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Wife doesn't understand my boundary concerns

DBL D · 04-26-2006, 11:34 AM

I was wondering where it was mentioned that this guy was a single male???

I was wondering why she wasn't honest with you?

I was wondering why you didn't find another lady (or couple) to play with while she was with this "fellow"?

I was wondering why you go to parties like this instead of a one-on-one couples date?

It's become clear to me that in our relationship, my wife has gradually been warming up to seeking out couples to play with and that will involve some chatting. She doesn't tell me that she has had a chat with someone all the time. She usually isn't the type to have a sexually charged chat with someone, but there is always some suggestive talk. I allow my wife to do that because I thinks it helps her to become comfortable with the whole idea of sharing and having recreational sex.

Recently we met a couple that she seems to really like, and I think they look great too. But, it just so happens that he is the one out the two of them that has time to chat, not the lady. What has bothered me about this is that there never seems to be any mention of the other principles involved. Never have I heard her say that they are looking forward to seeing us, or that his wife is interested in seeing me. It's just him saying that she gets his blood going. Now, I'm patient enough to let things go and see how it works out in a play situation, but if it turns out like the OP's situation, I'm afraid I would be very upset to find that they continued their chats.

Please keep talking about it with her. Let her know that it has to be fun for both of you. Come up with a way for that to happen...maybe there are several ways you can both be happy. I sure would be disappointed if my wife spent an hour with a guy right in front of me and never looked my way or asked me to join, and to have to put up with the onlookers, would be the straw that broke the camels back.

I guess part of the problem is having a wife that just won't talk about what she is doing or really wants. This has to be solved and the swinging should stop until it is.

M.D.

04-26-2006, 11:34 AM	#18 (permalink)
DBL D Oh...Why not?... Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 2,312 Location: Northern Call-ee-forn-ee-ah Status: Married Couple	Re: wife does not understand I was wondering where it was mentioned that this guy was a single male??? I was wondering why she wasn't honest with you? I was wondering why you didn't find another lady (or couple) to play with while she was with this "fellow"? I was wondering why you go to parties like this instead of a one-on-one couples date? It's become clear to me that in our relationship, my wife has gradually been warming up to seeking out couples to play with and that will involve some chatting. She doesn't tell me that she has had a chat with someone all the time. She usually isn't the type to have a sexually charged chat with someone, but there is always some suggestive talk. I allow my wife to do that because I thinks it helps her to become comfortable with the whole idea of sharing and having recreational sex. Recently we met a couple that she seems to really like, and I think they look great too. But, it just so happens that he is the one out the two of them that has time to chat, not the lady. What has bothered me about this is that there never seems to be any mention of the other principles involved. Never have I heard her say that they are looking forward to seeing us, or that his wife is interested in seeing me. It's just him saying that she gets his blood going. Now, I'm patient enough to let things go and see how it works out in a play situation, but if it turns out like the OP's situation, I'm afraid I would be very upset to find that they continued their chats. Please keep talking about it with her. Let her know that it has to be fun for both of you. Come up with a way for that to happen...maybe there are several ways you can both be happy. I sure would be disappointed if my wife spent an hour with a guy right in front of me and never looked my way or asked me to join, and to have to put up with the onlookers, would be the straw that broke the camels back. I guess part of the problem is having a wife that just won't talk about what she is doing or really wants. This has to be solved and the swinging should stop until it is. M.D. __________________ "Just nod if you can hear me..." David Gilmour Last edited by DBL D : 04-26-2006 at 01:14 PM.