The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Wife doesn't understand my boundary concerns

JnCC · 04-25-2006, 07:23 PM

It's kind of interesting, sometimes, to look at swinging from something of an "outsiders" perspective.

In the vanilla world, it's not unusual to hear some guy say that he "knew his wife was chatting" with guys on the computer, but it's not until he find's out that she's been fucking them as well, that he starts to get concerned.

In the swinging world, it's just the opposite. Here, it's usually some guy who knows his wife has been fucking another guy, but it's not until he finds out she's been talking to him as well, that he starts to get concerned.

I think one of the real dangers of this lifestyle is that people who feel they're obligated to separate their "emotional" reaction from sex in order for their partners to enjoy swinging, tend to separate their "common sense" reaction to it as well. If you don't know who you or your wife is with, assume the worst. You'll never be dissapointed

I think a little jealousy in a relationship is a good thing. In fact, if we value our partner and our relationship with them, it's a necessary thing. There's nothing wrong with telling your wife that it's NOT OK to blow some guy just because his "wife's" jaw is getting tired.

I think a little discretion in selecting the people you swing with is also a good thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting to know somebody a little bit before you have sex with them.

I think the vast majority of single guys at swing clubs and socials have so little fundamental understanding of why couples swing, and so little respect for the sanctity of marriage, that it amazes me that ANY of them are permitted to attend those events, period.

"I have a friend" who's a pilot. He reads accident reports voraciously. You might think that's somewhat "morbid" on his part, but his reasoning is this..."I constantly examine my actions when flying, or preparing to fly. When what I'm doing sounds like the first paragraph of an accident report, I STOP what I'm doing, and ask myself is there isn't something I can do to avoid what I know is likely to come in the second paragraph...the narrative of the CRASH"

I think it would help some couples to read this post, and others like it, in a similar light. It's too late to help the OP, but his story might save someone else. When some situation or some person doesn't seem right, STOP what you're doing and re-group, or you're likely to be the subject of your own "accident report."

04-25-2006, 07:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
JnCC Has Left the Building Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 817 Location: Mulletsville, USA	Re: wife does not understand It's kind of interesting, sometimes, to look at swinging from something of an "outsiders" perspective. In the vanilla world, it's not unusual to hear some guy say that he "knew his wife was chatting" with guys on the computer, but it's not until he find's out that she's been fucking them as well, that he starts to get concerned. In the swinging world, it's just the opposite. Here, it's usually some guy who knows his wife has been fucking another guy, but it's not until he finds out she's been talking to him as well, that he starts to get concerned. I think one of the real dangers of this lifestyle is that people who feel they're obligated to separate their "emotional" reaction from sex in order for their partners to enjoy swinging, tend to separate their "common sense" reaction to it as well. If you don't know who you or your wife is with, assume the worst. You'll never be dissapointed I think a little jealousy in a relationship is a good thing. In fact, if we value our partner and our relationship with them, it's a necessary thing. There's nothing wrong with telling your wife that it's NOT OK to blow some guy just because his "wife's" jaw is getting tired. I think a little discretion in selecting the people you swing with is also a good thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting to know somebody a little bit before you have sex with them. I think the vast majority of single guys at swing clubs and socials have so little fundamental understanding of why couples swing, and so little respect for the sanctity of marriage, that it amazes me that ANY of them are permitted to attend those events, period. "I have a friend" who's a pilot. He reads accident reports voraciously. You might think that's somewhat "morbid" on his part, but his reasoning is this..."I constantly examine my actions when flying, or preparing to fly. When what I'm doing sounds like the first paragraph of an accident report, I STOP what I'm doing, and ask myself is there isn't something I can do to avoid what I know is likely to come in the second paragraph...the narrative of the CRASH" I think it would help some couples to read this post, and others like it, in a similar light. It's too late to help the OP, but his story might save someone else. When some situation or some person doesn't seem right, STOP what you're doing and re-group, or you're likely to be the subject of your own "accident report."