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Originally posted by TeamSoBe
Here is the problem: you're interested in participating in crazy sex parties. You don't want to go to a crazy sex party that's full of nothing but men, though, so you look for crazy sex parties that single women go to as well as single men.
What we have in reality is teeming masses of single guys who are looking for cheap, easy, no-obligation sex. Every guy in the world is looking for cheap, easy, no-obligation sex, so what entitles any given single guy to admission to a gender-balanced sex party? |
Fair enough. However, just because you happen to be interested in wild sex doesn't mean you expect it to be cheap, easy or to come with no obligation. Have you ever been given something for free? If so, how much did you value it? As much as an 8K Rolex (or insert luxury item here) you had to save for two years to purchase? The natural reaction when being presented with an offer that's "cheap, easy and non-obligatory" is to wonder what its defects are. What's wrong with this picture?
Personally, I pass on the cheap and easy route because the risk is not worth the reward (and beacuse of the fact that nothing is really "free"). In my experience, anyone offering this more often than not (I'm sure you'll allow me some generalizations of my own, here) has other psychodrama-type issues that I don't want to be involved with. Creeps come in all packages, couples and singles.
All of these and other reasons are why I don't frequent swing clubs. Not all of us have the frat boy mentality to run around snivelling with erection in hand. Some of us actually want to go clubbing together and get drunk on Friday night weeks later. Burned bridges are NEVER a good thing. Ever. And cheap, easy and no obligation eventually leads to burned bridges. Period. Don't confuse this with poly relationships - it's not where I was going.
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Your point is far more valid if your ultimate goal is to eventually find a woman of your own who is sexually compatible with you. You said that you're not. If you spend all of your energy on hooking up with swinging wives and no energy on finding your own woman then I would have to start wondering about you again. |
Actually, that's not what I said.
To clarify, I would LOVE to find another single woman with all of the following qualities (not an exhaustive list):
1. Enjoys kinky sex with multiple partners
2. Ambition
3. Intestinal Fortitude
4. Integrity
5. Financial Acumen
6. Beauty
etc, etc, etc.
Guess which attribute is hardest to find (taken in combination with the others)? Ding ding ding! That's correct Alex, kinky sex with multiple partners! Show him what he's won!
I find the most promising leads come from my married friends in the lifestyle who play "cupid," which is a big reason for my behavior. Someday I'll roll sixes. I know it.
Am I going to lose sleep pining over this Unicorn-like creature I'd like to have share my life? No. It's not my job to try to force something like that to happen, it's fate. If it's meant to happen, it will, forever and ever, amen.
I approach every situation in life with very low expectations. This way, when someting mildly good happens, you're always very pleasantly surprised. Try it sometime, you'll like it!
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Guys who love fucking swinger women but who then settle down with 'nice' girls just don't get it. They are just using swingers for cheap and easy sex instead of putting the work into meeting girls at singles' bars. |
I can't imagine even having a beer with a "nice" girl, much less settling down with one. If you want to catch a fish, you have to go to where the fish are. You have a high probability of meeting a swinging single girl if you hang out with other people who think and act the same as you do. You probably won't have much luck running into what you're looking for in Sunday School, or for that matter, the run-of-the-mill singles bar.
Finally, this is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be about all parties enjoying themselves, not buzzkill. I think when we start over-analyzing and score keeping about who "brought more to the table" than whom (in terms of women, wealth, power, fame, or any other metric) it injects a certain pettiness that detracts from everyone's enjoyment. Personally, I've never witnessed any of the boorish behavior or cheating husband trickery that's discussed here, because I don't surround myself with those types of people - they wouldn't even get past the door.
Does it disturb me that some men who made vows and gave oaths use this community to subvert them and try to convince themselves and others that it's perfectly OK to betray trust and confidences? Of course it does. Does it bother me that there's a general perception of single males as drooling idiots running about with their pants around their ankles doing their best "Quest for Fire" imitation? Sure does. Do I need to pile on and call them names because they make my life more difficult? Nope. Life's too short, and my time is too precious to me to reiterate to you what you already know. It takes a lot of energy to resent someone. It takes even more to resent an entire group of people. Remember that.
Peace and be well...