[intuition897]

I agree that while there is always more to the story than one side can tell, the fact remains that you are one unhappy camper. Regardless of where this problem originates, you are still feeing humiliated, disrespected and uncared for by your wife...and everyone around you. The unmentioned discussions between your wife and the other guy are suspicious, as is the discrepency between her messenger conversation with the other play partner and what she told you after her little party. I say "her" little party because you weren't having much fun at all, and she didn't bother to take time out (at any time during her one hour + of playing with this guy she wasn't having that much fun playing with anyway) to remedy that.

I'm looking forward to hearing her side of things. From your description of her "Tough shit!" attitude, it sounds like she's not quite grasping that her freedom to do as she pleases without you leaving her is a privilege, not a right. And she should not assume that just because you're okay with her having sex with others...it doesn't mean you're okay with her ignoring your feelings just so that she can have a little fun.