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Originally Posted by Lovinlife59912 Being a newbie at all of this, why would you play alone? What is your partner getting out of it? I can understand maybe one having sex while the other watches because they are getting the enjoyment of seeing the other pleased but just to go by yourself and have sex with someone seems different. Hopefully this doesn't sound judgemental I'm just curious.  |
Well, if my wife were playing with someone else on her own (with my knowledge and aproval), I get satisfaction from knowing she's enjoying that. And vice versa.
I believe your question have less to do "what each one gets out of it", and more with the subjective perception of risk each spouse would have in such an scenario. You may agree with me, theoretically, that it would be nice to allow your husband to enjoy soemthing without you being there. And for sure he does enjoy thins unrelated to sex (e.g. playing poker one evening at a week with his dudes... you hardly would even want to be there, watching, but there isn't anything able to risk your marriage there). The problem come from the uncertanity of what's going on "behind your back", from the control you'd be giving up.
I think it is a matter of confidence and trust, at these points where we lack confidence and trust, we have "to be there" to regain control of the situation, should something goes "wrong".