TeamSoBe
While I normally agree in total with you, and still do, I have a few observations about your last post. As preamble, I have to say that when we began swinging, we decided not to go the single guy route just because of primarily my own insecurities and the potential political problems that might crop up. Couples seemed a much more stable platform. At least that was the initial premise.
From observation, swinging as a couple doesn't eliminate the bad characteristics of a guy, (or for that fact, a woman), but it does tend to put a bit of a leash on them.
As you say, a guy just can't marry a nice girl and think he's changed himself. But there is a mitigating circumstance here. We didn't start swinging till we were in our thirties. If we had tried it earlier, there is little doubt in my mind that it would have ruined our relationship. We did it when we were ready. If a guy falls in love with a woman who isn't or maybe even won't ever be ready to explore her more sensual side, then as long as he's aware that that is the case, he'd better learn to live with it. When he can't live with it is where the problems crop up.
Concerning your examination of the Madonna/Whore complex that males exhibit to swinging women, might I offer this hypothesis. Don't we as husbands of swinging women have the ultimate luxury of having a type of totally self contained Madonna/Whore complex relating entirely to our own Wives? "My wife is my personal porn star." isn't the kind of small talk commonly overheard at the local PTA bake sale, but most of those folks probably don't swing. So aren't we being a bit arrogant in our expectations that any man we invite into our bed should have so nearly the same appreciation for our Wives that we do?
In fact we have little power beyond that of mere friendship to regulate the behavior of people we swing with, married, single or otherwise. Sometimes I think more's the pity, but that's the way it is.
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