The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Wife wants to swing, I'm afraid if I don't let her she'll be unhappy

JohnUK · 04-20-2006, 09:09 AM

I'm pretty much convinced it's more than sex. It think it's some emotional thing. But I don't know what. Maybe turning 30 panicked her. (Like its that old!

)

The thought of telling her she can't sucks, to me. She'll either resent me or cheat on me I feel. I can't take that. I wish I felt more like her then she might have something to worry about and realise what she has and forget her urges. Instead she knows I only want her but she also knows our relationship is hanging by a thread. And with our 3 childrens livelihoods at stake it must be a strong urge for her to not be able to let it go! I know she's regret everything in the end. It seems she's determined to hit the self-destruct button!
I did tell her that the grass is always greener on the other side and that there's loads of girls out there who've slept with loads of blokes but who'd love to have someone who worships the ground they walk on, as I do hers!

I've thought about letting her do it and dumping her straight afterwards.
It's better than her not doing/exploring this and it affecting our relationship indefinitely!
I think the bottom line is we want different things. And if it was: I want potatoes and she wants rice then that's a workable problem, but something as profound as this is probably hopeless, unless she snaps out of it/comes to her senses. But if its how she really feels and not a mid-life phase then I think it's pretty much hopeless.
It's tough because the kids are pretty much oblivious to it all.
I really feel like letting her do it, pretending I'm ok about it but dumping her straight afterwards. Otherwise I can say "No" and she may well do it behind my back eventually or it could be an issue for us forever!

All this has affected my love for her though, sometimes I feel I don't really know her like I thought I did.

Could it just be a mid-life crisis that she needs help with? And she doesn't really want the sex after all?
Sorry, I know you all are not consellors but you've got much needed valuable experiences and advice.

Thanks again for your replys!

John.

04-20-2006, 09:09 AM	#14 (permalink)
JohnUK Active Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 10 Location: UK	Re: Advice needed please. I'm pretty much convinced it's more than sex. It think it's some emotional thing. But I don't know what. Maybe turning 30 panicked her. (Like its that old! ) The thought of telling her she can't sucks, to me. She'll either resent me or cheat on me I feel. I can't take that. I wish I felt more like her then she might have something to worry about and realise what she has and forget her urges. Instead she knows I only want her but she also knows our relationship is hanging by a thread. And with our 3 childrens livelihoods at stake it must be a strong urge for her to not be able to let it go! I know she's regret everything in the end. It seems she's determined to hit the self-destruct button! I did tell her that the grass is always greener on the other side and that there's loads of girls out there who've slept with loads of blokes but who'd love to have someone who worships the ground they walk on, as I do hers! I've thought about letting her do it and dumping her straight afterwards. It's better than her not doing/exploring this and it affecting our relationship indefinitely! I think the bottom line is we want different things. And if it was: I want potatoes and she wants rice then that's a workable problem, but something as profound as this is probably hopeless, unless she snaps out of it/comes to her senses. But if its how she really feels and not a mid-life phase then I think it's pretty much hopeless. It's tough because the kids are pretty much oblivious to it all. I really feel like letting her do it, pretending I'm ok about it but dumping her straight afterwards. Otherwise I can say "No" and she may well do it behind my back eventually or it could be an issue for us forever! All this has affected my love for her though, sometimes I feel I don't really know her like I thought I did. Could it just be a mid-life crisis that she needs help with? And she doesn't really want the sex after all? Sorry, I know you all are not consellors but you've got much needed valuable experiences and advice. Thanks again for your replys! John.
	Last edited by JohnUK; 04-20-2006 at 09:14 AM.