Thanks for the input, Uberkraker. If anything that I say in this response sounds like I might be picking on you then be advised in advance that I'm not. You were honest and thoughtful and that's pretty rare, you deserve not to be flamed.
Here is the problem: you're interested in participating in crazy sex parties. You don't want to go to a crazy sex party that's full of nothing but men, though, so you look for crazy sex parties that single women go to as well as single men. There aren't such things though, crazy parties full of single people having orgiastic sex with both men and women in attendance. Those parties just don't exist.
The solution to the problem is for couples to show up together. The male/female ratio is automatically balanced and everybody feels more comfortable knowing that any random party guest is somebody elses' problem, emotionally speaking. A single guy showing up at that party is showing up with no contribution. If there were hoardes of sex-starved single women to balance out the hoardes of sex-starved single men then nobody would be complaining, but there are not.
What we have in reality is teeming masses of single guys who are looking for cheap, easy, no-obligation sex. Every guy in the world is looking for cheap, easy, no-obligation sex, so what entitles any given single guy to admission to a gender-balanced sex party? A guy can get admission to a crazy sex party by being either gorgeous, rich, famous, powerful, or by showing up with his own woman. Without at least one of those things, he's not going to have an easy time getting invited and welcomed. There are just so many guys that would like to live the sex party fantasy and only so many women to go around, it's a matter of simple economics.
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However, insinuating that all single males are loosers and incapable of having "normal" relationships just because we've made certain lifestyle choices is mildly offensive at best, and hypocritical at worst.
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Entirely valid point. My intent in starting this thread was to pick on married cheating husbands, not guys like you. Guys like you who actually get it are the ones that we're always looking for. Sometimes I convince myself that no such guy exists though. Your point is far more valid if your ultimate goal is to eventually find a woman of your own who is sexually compatible with you. You said that you're not. If you spend all of your energy on hooking up with swinging wives and no energy on finding your own woman then I would have to start wondering about you again.
I have seen an awful lot of single guys who enjoy fucking swinger women but who would flat-out never consider it with their own girlfriends or wives. We have been with a guy who acted that way, had a great time in bed with us a couple of times but then became very controlling and smothering and possessive with the woman that he met later on. He treated his swinging fun with us as a phase and he would never ever consider it with his own woman. (For the record, we weren't trying to get her, we were close enough with him to have conversations about it.) For him to treat crazy sex with my wife as a phase that he went through while he was young and single but never ever consider letting his own woman have that sort of fun is offensive to me. It's an indication that he has a Madonna/Whore complex and guess who gets to be the whore, my wife.
Guys who love fucking swinger women but who then settle down with 'nice' girls just don't get it. They are just using swingers for cheap and easy sex instead of putting the work into meeting girls at singles' bars. They aren't as offensive as cheating husbands who fuck swinger women while keeping their own nice girls deluded at home, but to me they are just the same kind of guy at a different point in life.