Quote:
Originally posted by TeamSoBe
Yes, that's one of the reasons why I'm a little wary of single guys who get into swinging. Whenever I see a single swinger guy on a web site I always have to wonder what is up with him that he's trying to meet swinger couples instead of getting a girl for himself and having a normal relationship. |
As a single male, and being new here, I hesitated for a while before deciding to respond this thread. After spending several hours reading through postings (with emphasis on the "Single Male" threads) I noticed quite a few messages asking single males "why are you here?" (to paraphrase - I intrepreted the above as such). While I can't tell you why other single swingers aren't out busying themselves having "normal relationships," I can tell you why I'm not.
I like to have wild, passionate and deviant sex. Further, I like to pursue these activities with people that I have more in common with than simple prurient interests. You may be able to find folks like this on a whim hanging out at Level or wherever, but I can assure you that in Northern Virginia it is considerably more difficult to randomly meet people of like mind.
Additionally, it's been my experience that if we share the same viewpoints on sexuality, we're likely to have tons of other things in common as well, and since this is an extension of my social life, that's important to me.
Finally, I just plain like hanging out with swinging couples: most of them are cool and lots of fun. It's not always about the sex itself - sometimes the vibes just aren't right, etc - and no one wants to be a bad lay - but the ones I've been with are always fun to party with, nonetheless.
Why don't I find a girl to have a "normal" relationship with? There are plenty of those candidates out there, but I know what I'm looking for and haven't found it yet. I very much admire the amount of time/energy/effort you've put into building your "house" so to speak. However, not all of us have the level of patience/guts required to do the same. If I ever find a woman who shares my sexual proclivity and completely sweeps me away, I'll marry her and we'll swing together happily ever after. Marrying and trying to "convert" her to a swinging lifestyle after the fact would be a disaster for me - I know myself pretty well.
Just because it was the right perscription for you doesn't mean it's good medicine for everyone else; there are a million and one reasons that folks get involved in this lifestyle. I have mine and you have yours.
Reading though some of the posts here, it seems that everyone has their "war stories" pertaining to unfortunate events that revolved around single males (or, more accurately, NOT-so-single males). Reading through some of them made me ashamed of the "single male" tag: I can't imagine acting like that much of an asshole to anyone. It's obvious that some of the folks here have had very bad experiences that have colored their perception of the single male, perhaps forever, and that's unfortunate (justified, based on some of the stuff I read, but unfortunate).
However, insinuating that all single males are loosers and incapable of having "normal" relationships just because we've made certain lifestyle choices is mildly offensive at best, and hypocritical at worst.
Just my .02 - and probably worth exactly what you paid for it. (Shit - wait a minute - less than .02 as a dime a dozen actually works out to .008 - my bad)
