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Old 04-16-2006, 11:26 AM   #15 (permalink)
WesternSwing
South of disorder
 
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,824
Location: Utah
Status: Male half of married couple

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Default Re: Swinging, how to interest my wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by funseeking
You mean to tell me that neither one of you had to do anything or say anything to get the other one interested in swinging?
Nope, actually we didn't. LOL We had dicussed it in a fantasy realm such as "Our neighbors sure like us... what if we swapped? Think that would happen?" So we were already talking about the "what if" scenarios. Then the time was just right at the right party one night. We met a couple that are swingers and they showed interest in us and we set-up a night together about three weeks later.

We really just fell into it. All the pieces to the puzzle just fit. We didn't have to coerce each other into swinging, all we had to do was discuss it. Now we did the "what if"scenarios for three years before the actual thing happened though. But we were both open to the idea of it happening. You're wife doesn't seem interested in taking it past the fantasy stage. If she won't go, you can't take her. If you coerce and manipulate she will resent you, then she won't trust any of your motives. This is something she has to want to do. Having sex with others is a huge emotional step and some will take it, some won't.

The only thing I can suggest is to once in a while discuss it in a non-threatening, not-manipulative way. You know, in normal conversation. Someday she may become intererested, or maybe she never will and will just want to leave it as a playtime fantasy.

Good luck.

Mr. WS
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