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All I want to know is how to interest my wife WITHOUT being manipulative.
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Here's where you are missing the boat... Wanting to interest someone in something they have clearly stated is not of interest is by DEFINITION being manipulative. Period.
So the short answer to the above quoted quesion is... you can't.
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I also posted a couple of real concerns that I would like more opinions on
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The reason no one here is going to address your other "real" concerns is that they are all built around your persistent desire to manipulate her into doing something she isn't wanting. This is so contrary to ethical non-monogamy that you're simply not likely to get much support here.
The irony is that IF your wife is truly ever going to take an interest it will probably be a combination of two things:
1) The seed you have already planted in letting her know you are open to this.
2) Confidence and trust built upon you demonstrating that you ONLY want to do this if it is something you are both equally enthusiastic about.
So, truly the very best thing you can do to allow that seed to grow (if it hasn't landed on barren soil) is to sincerely and authentically show her that being with her is far more important than any fantasy fulfillment through swinging. To make her secure in the fact that if she doesn't want this you will happily spend the rest of your life being monogamous with her.
It is exactly this kind of unconditional commitment, love, and trust that makes it possible for people to have healthy swinging relationships. If it comes up short on either side drama and relationship strife is simply inevitable.
Problem is, to convince her of this... you have to really feel that way yourself. To do that you need to actually heed the good advice that everyone is offering and not only "shut up"... but actually and authentically "let it go".