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Originally Posted by funseeking I know I am being manipulative BUT I don't want to be. I just want my wife to be inetrested in swinging...is that so damn wrong?
You admitted "harshness" is not nice or warranted here. My manipulative ways were made clear to me by some of the posters on this board. I was not aware that I was manipulating until I heard what others had to say.
I am not posting the same question with different words this time. All I want to know is how to interest my wife WITHOUT being manipulative.
You mean to tell me that neither one of you had to do anything or say anything to get the other one interested in swinging?
I also posted a couple of real concerns that I would like more opinions on.
I guess there is nothing I can do now.
I feel stuck . |
funseeking, one thing you will be certain to find here on this board is straight-up, frank...and sometimes very blunt...honesty. We don't pull any punches, and you're
guaranteed to hear things that you don't want to hear. Because they're the truth and the truth is not always convenient.
Simply admitting that you're manipulative and that you don't like to be, doesn't absolve you from being just that. And asking us, "How can I not be manipulative and still get what I want?" is not going to get you an answer you want to hear. The simple truth of the matter is that if you really want to get what you want, you really REALLY need to let this GO! If you insist on clinging to this fantasy, IT - WILL - DIE.
You can't push her through the door. And pining away about it is just going to piss her off. She said no. Drop it. Maybe consider revisiting the idea - in a different format - in a couple of years. Yeah, I said a couple of
years. In any case, this scenario with "the guy" is never going to be a good idea. If you want to be a swinger, show your wife this board and let HER take the lead for a change. Are you giving her back her sexuality or not? If you are, be prepared: she may have ideas of her own, and they may not be anything like what you had in mind.