Quote:
Originally posted by TeamSoBe
When I first met Mrs. SoBe she was very inhibited also. She's always been a fast girl and she has a looooong list of guys in her past, but she never really enjoyed them. Always said that she got off on the power of being in charge and using a guy but that's all that she got out of it, she never really got off. |
I can completely understand this mindset. During my single years, meaning I wasn't committed to any ONE individual or married, (Geesh, I hate that I have to spell it out, yet it seems necessary these days), I sought out men for sex, strictly sex. I wanted to get laid and I wanted to feel desired. It was kind of like knowing that I still had what it took to turn someone on. It was definitely a power trip for me as once I got what I needed, then it was back to business as usual. I am not proud of those years. Rarely did I ever have any sexual satisfaction, it was more mental. I could get as wild as all get out and the strange thing was I gave all outward appearances of being a sexually liberated woman. When in all honesty that was NOT me.
After meeting with my husband I was unable to express myself in a "doing it for your on gratification" sexual manner. Why? Because he desired something more from me. He wanted my innermost part and saw something in me that I couldn't see in myself. He took the time and invested the effort to bring that out in me. Not just sexually, but in all areas of my life.
He is the one who spent countless hours, weeks, months and years to bring my sexuality to where it is now. He deserves and I deserve the utmost of respect when welcoming someone else into our bedroom. WE took the time to get to that point. None of those guys that I fucked just to be fucking for my own selfish interests have any bearing on where I am or who I am today. We have what we have because we worked on it and are still working on it. It is called marriage, and marriage for the right reasons.
We spent six years together, living together for 5 of them, before we ever said "I do".
I can honestly say that we can go out, I can get laid and not come home and feel guilty about it. Married Cheating Spouses cannot do that. I don't have to worry about what my husband is going to think tomorrow or worry that he might *find* out something. I don't have to hide anything. If something happens that he wasn't too cool with then, yeah, we will talk about it, but we aren't going to be talking about it in some lawyers office or Divorce Court. Married/committed swinging alone people cannot do that.
So Mr. SoBe, you are on the right track and I am sure Mrs. SoBe knows it. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.
Mrs. O