I just posted a longer message as an answer to another thread, (
We finally did it; details and a few questions), so I'll quote it (with some teensy edits):
Well, I've always had "performance problems" the first time with anyone, be it girfriends in my 20-some, horny days, the first time with my first wife, with my current wife, or the first time we exhibited, swapped, or the first time with anybody else.
From informal pollstering with friends over beer, I gather that about a third of all men usually perform this way, more or less.
So, I just don't sweat it: I know that the first time will be the time to use all those tricks and acrobatics in order to give a great performance some other way, and I just laugh it off and get everyone else off, happily, with hugs and kisses all around. If I do stay hard, coming will not usually come naturally (and when that happens, the ladies are usually very happy with the outcome).
Then I go back with my wife, fuck really hard and blow myself away (she just loves my performance after a swing session
), knowing that the next time with the same people or the same situation there will be no problems at all.