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cara1 · 03-29-2006, 01:10 AM

I am in a relationship with a wonderful man that love and respect. From the beginning, we agreed that we would have an open relationship. He stated that he could never be satisfied with one woman, and loves women too much to ever quit pursuing them. I happily agreed to this arrangement because I do not feel that monogamy is natural, especially for men. Basically, we have the "don't ask, and don't tell policy".

I do not have intimate relations with other single men. However, I do enjoy threesomes with a married couple that I see on a regular basis. My boyfriend does actively pursue other women, and I believe that he has regular sexual relations with them. This has never been a problem for us. I have been happier with this relationship than any other in my life. I felt that the lack of jealousy, and total freedom had strengthened our bond. I felt that the love we had for one another was very beautiful and honest.

Recently he confided with me that he loves sex very much, yet, feels that it is a great sin. He feels that everytime he has sex with me or any other woman, he greatly displeases God. What bothers me so much is that I now feel that he views our intimacy as sinful, and dirty. The beautiful moments we've shared now seem disgusting, and dishonest, due to his confession of guilt.

I told him today that I do not wish to date him because I do not want to contribute to anything that makes him feel sinful. I can offer him my friendship, and anything, other than sex. He feels that this is irrational, and we should continue with our relationship because both of us are going to have sex with other people, regardless.

Can anyone offer me any advice on how I can explain to him that I do not want to contribute to his guilt, or participate in any activity that he does not view as beautiful and without sin? Do I sound irrational?

03-29-2006, 01:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
cara1 Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 15 Location: Indianapolis	boyfriend feeling guilt I am in a relationship with a wonderful man that love and respect. From the beginning, we agreed that we would have an open relationship. He stated that he could never be satisfied with one woman, and loves women too much to ever quit pursuing them. I happily agreed to this arrangement because I do not feel that monogamy is natural, especially for men. Basically, we have the "don't ask, and don't tell policy". I do not have intimate relations with other single men. However, I do enjoy threesomes with a married couple that I see on a regular basis. My boyfriend does actively pursue other women, and I believe that he has regular sexual relations with them. This has never been a problem for us. I have been happier with this relationship than any other in my life. I felt that the lack of jealousy, and total freedom had strengthened our bond. I felt that the love we had for one another was very beautiful and honest. Recently he confided with me that he loves sex very much, yet, feels that it is a great sin. He feels that everytime he has sex with me or any other woman, he greatly displeases God. What bothers me so much is that I now feel that he views our intimacy as sinful, and dirty. The beautiful moments we've shared now seem disgusting, and dishonest, due to his confession of guilt. I told him today that I do not wish to date him because I do not want to contribute to anything that makes him feel sinful. I can offer him my friendship, and anything, other than sex. He feels that this is irrational, and we should continue with our relationship because both of us are going to have sex with other people, regardless. Can anyone offer me any advice on how I can explain to him that I do not want to contribute to his guilt, or participate in any activity that he does not view as beautiful and without sin? Do I sound irrational?