My husband and I attend a club regularly and we run into this problem all the time. I am a social butterfly and am up dancing and flirting while my husband sits quietly. He has a beer gut which I find sexy in a man, but apparently others don't, while I do situps and pushups nightly. He is a grower not a show'er so I think that also factors in.
This is the reason we have only swung with couples twice in 2-1/2 years of attending. I constantly get invited to join couples, but I tell them we are a pair and they lose interest. Occasionally we swing with single men because my husband loves to watch. But I feel sometimes he is not getting his fantasies fulfilled. Mostly we softswing for this reason.
I have tried on occasion to sit the whole time with my husband and not move about the room, but then I get antsy and he says he likes seeing me "work" the room, and tells me to go have fun.
I personally find men with a little meat on their bones more attractive for many reasons. Seems the men that are in really great shape always have an attitude and worry too much about body image. They constantly talk about their workout program or as my husband says "think their stuff don't stink". I'd rather have a down to earth, good sense of humor guy anyday.
My point is, don't give up. There are us out there that like a man's man.
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