 Re: Sharing is Caring?
My wife once asked me if I would still love her if she weighed 300 pounds and I said I wouldn't; at least not the same way. That was before we got married. If she'd asked that after we were married, well, we wouldn't have the same opportunities to walk away from it, if that was to be the criteria. Sounds selfish I know, but she asked. You don't just meet someone and start compromising do you? I'd stay married...but not as happily, because my priorites weren't being met.
This situation sounds similar. You can still walk away and not feel so hurt. Live and learn. Your man has decided that he has to swing. That doesn't mean he will never love you or take care of you. Separate sex and love and have a good start to understanding him. As for you and the bait and switch? That is a tough test. I know swingers take "breaks" to "reconnect". They realize the importance of their relationship and it's place in the big picture.
Trust is one of the things that makes swinging work. The fact that you are just having sex or "fun" with someone else and you then leave together. Sure other swingers may have differences in how they deal with this but that is the general tone.
I won't tell you what to do other than talk some more...and some more.
M.D.
|