 Re: Sharing is Caring?
It's difficult, the place you find yourself. You know you are in love with him, and he tells you he loves you as well.
But in my opinion, your problem isn't yours, it's his.
I am also a soldier, and for my whole married life, my wife and I have been quite active in playing with others. From the time that we started dating, then after a 3 year hiatus where we concentrated solely on each other.
Our key though, was that we spent the time concentrating on each other first. We made a mutual decision that yes, we loved each other, but we missed the days of just hanging out with friends in whatever state of dress, whatever state of sexual attraction that there was.
Right now you feel insecure in yourself and that he wants only you. You have decided you want him and only him, from coming out of what sounds like the same type thing that my wife and I got tegether in.
If he's not willing to give that sort of thing up, is it possible that he is himself having commitment problems? I'd certainly be concerned that he wants to marry you and is not at all interested in taking a hiatus and just working with you to develop the sort of relationship that builds all the trust for this lifestyle.
There are many reasons for having a wife when you're in the Army. I know because I deal with soldiers daily, soldiers who want the NCOs out of their lives and out of the barracks, to wanting that extra money for the support of a family.
I'd sincerely ask him if he is willing to table the discusson for later, to concentrate on you two versus the group thing and playing with each other. As mutual trust builds within a relationship, as mutual understanding comes, so does the jealousy wither away. Who knows, 3 years from now you might find both of yourselves with a reversed viewpoint.
|