I met a guy on a sex and swingers site. We started out just having casual sex. Three weeks later he got deployed overseas. We had clicked extremely well. During his tour overseas we stayed in touch and talked everyday. Somewhere along the way we fell for each other. In the midst of all of this we also shared secret fantasies and desires. We seemed extremely compatible with each other. One exception was that I knew he wanted to swing, and while I wasn't completely opposed to the idea, I wasn't sure I could handle watching him with other women. I never lied to him about my insecurities in that area. And he never lied to me about wanting a swinging lifestyle. He has since come back from Iraq, and we started off on a life together. We've attempted swinging twice with other couples. The other day that all came to a screeching halt when I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to swing and asked him if he'd leave if I didn't. Basically, after several days of tear-filled heart-breaking conversations the answer was yes, because it's something he doesn't want to give up. And I'm not willing to say yes, it's something I can accept for the rest of my life.
I don't know if I really have a question at this point or just needed to vent. But, I guess it comes down to my insecurities of him being with other women. How do you make that go away? I know rationally that he's not going to leave or fall in love with the other woman... but emotionally it seems like a hurdle taller than I can surmount...
