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Originally Posted by pacpl4funn Hi Cat and thanks for the note, my answer is pretty simple, I love him. And how do you walk away from the one you love?
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"...you're so lucky, had I known you were serious about your interest in swinging and screwing other people for fun, had I known, I would have never got involved with you at all."
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And I would say :
You never should have gotten involved with him in the first place... and that hiding that (swinging), is a rather serious breach of trust. A let me bait you and get you...then ... I will bring you into my fetish, that I know you would run from otherwise" breach of trust... the word premeditated comes to mind. I think in retail they call it "bait and switch"!
So why isn't “I love him" enough?
Well for one... Love ...is not an excuse for abuse (giving or taking it) or being treated with disrespect. Trust me, you can still love someone and not be with them... you can love them as your best friend. I am doing that right now...and it is just fine. I don’t love Mr. Body any less now that we are not a couple.
It is an adult perspective and a real mature thing to admit that love is not enough. You can love someone to death and it not be right to be together in the long run… for lots of reasons.
All in all , “I love him” is actually a real "cop out" of a "me culpa" type of argument. Do you know how many times I have held people who are bruised and crying "Why?" and when I ask if they would let anyone treat their daughter that way...the answer is an emphatic – “NO” .
Then I ask them, why they allow themselves to be such a rotten role model by letting someone treat them that way... and they inevitably say ...." BUT ...I LOVE HIM.”
I guess realizing the difference between being “needy of love” and having a true giving and sharing type of love that nourishes both people ...comes with time... but not if you stay needy.
Yeah, you love him and you NEED him to love you (more than the dumpling ....) but what the heck does that have to do with anything...when by every action and word... he shows he doesn't love you.
Being needy is pathetic (been there) and ends up ultimately not being attractive and driving people away. After you did things you would never have done, just to keep him happy.
Love yourself first... so you don't feel threatened by apple dumplings ... and find yourself a man who can give you back respect and love. I don't think you have that... and everyone should.
BTW... don't tell me it is not possible...because I have done it.