The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Creating an intimate atmosphere that doesn't threaten relationships

sereneiders · 02-09-2006, 06:37 AM

I wholly agree with LikeMinds here.

Because of this, it's important to talk beforehand, tell each other their limits, listen the rules and clarify whatever doubt anyone may have. If you feel unconfortable with some of the rules, let them know, even when this could lead to avoid the game, and by no mean try to get you way by breaking a rule basing yourself in your own estimation of the rule importance for the couple: if a couple sets a rule, it IS important for them, it protects them from things they properly know.

You may find out that some couples rules aren't "consistent" enough (they may be news in the scene and they may haven't still developed a "final set" of rules nased on their experience). I believe it is respectfull to point out your doubts regarding to the inconsistences, or else go along paying attention to avoid messing up with the inconsistences (since this would be to take adventage of them to make your own way).

You have a valuable position here... there are way fewer single womans up to game than couples looking for them. It will pay better to decline an invitation because of the risk of messing up with the couple set of rules, than to risk to be part of a drama because of this.

I also want to point out that the rules the couples made up may have a lot in common with other couple's rules, but there are not necesarily the same.

As for us, we like people with your attitude towards sex and intimacy, and we valuate the intimacy and even the attitudes usually pertaining to the love and care more than sex (and I know we're uncommon about this, since we still had and we're still open to poliamoral relationships). Be upfront about what you want and the way you'd like things to happen (moreover, ensure to make this clear to the wyfe), the kind of attitudes you'd like to have with them, the way you may behave, and the meaning this have for you, to avoid missunderstandings.

Be yourself and be honest. I believe these two things is what most swingers appreciate the most.

02-09-2006, 06:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
sereneiders Some sort of user Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,131 Location: Argentina Status: Couple	Re: what exactly is it? I wholly agree with LikeMinds here. Because of this, it's important to talk beforehand, tell each other their limits, listen the rules and clarify whatever doubt anyone may have. If you feel unconfortable with some of the rules, let them know, even when this could lead to avoid the game, and by no mean try to get you way by breaking a rule basing yourself in your own estimation of the rule importance for the couple: if a couple sets a rule, it IS important for them, it protects them from things they properly know. You may find out that some couples rules aren't "consistent" enough (they may be news in the scene and they may haven't still developed a "final set" of rules nased on their experience). I believe it is respectfull to point out your doubts regarding to the inconsistences, or else go along paying attention to avoid messing up with the inconsistences (since this would be to take adventage of them to make your own way). You have a valuable position here... there are way fewer single womans up to game than couples looking for them. It will pay better to decline an invitation because of the risk of messing up with the couple set of rules, than to risk to be part of a drama because of this. I also want to point out that the rules the couples made up may have a lot in common with other couple's rules, but there are not necesarily the same. As for us, we like people with your attitude towards sex and intimacy, and we valuate the intimacy and even the attitudes usually pertaining to the love and care more than sex (and I know we're uncommon about this, since we still had and we're still open to poliamoral relationships). Be upfront about what you want and the way you'd like things to happen (moreover, ensure to make this clear to the wyfe), the kind of attitudes you'd like to have with them, the way you may behave, and the meaning this have for you, to avoid missunderstandings. Be yourself and be honest. I believe these two things is what most swingers appreciate the most.